Rich Hill Will Not Be Shown Up

The Cubs crushed the Roy Oswalt and the Astros today, but that's not really that important or surprising. Bigger news would be that we're suddenly in the heat of a division race, trailing the struggling Brewers by only 3.5 games, but again, that is not the story of the game. No, what really matters today is that the Cubs have another pitcher who moonlights as a comedian/impressionist.

During today's FOX intro for the Cubs lineup, Rich Hill went with a solid imitation of the character Kip Dynamite from the movie Napoleon Dynamite. At first, when I had no idea what was going on, I thought maybe he had been stung by a bee on his tongue. It was that good, and definitely gave Ryan Dempster and his Harry Caray impression a run for his money. I can't find any video of the intro right now, but if I do it'll be up here faster than you can say quesadilla.

(I didn't like that movie, by the way. Supposedly it gets funnier the more you watch it, but by the time I did see it I had already heard all the jokes. And why would I watch it again if it sucked the first time?)

EDIT: Here's another video of Dempster's Harry Caray impression, still can't find the one he did for FOX though. If you find a link to the FOX videos for either Hill or Dempster, I'll send you a dollar. For real. Do it.




EDIT x2: Brilliant reader skr found the video and gave it to me for free! How thoughtful.



Via Texas Gal's baseball blog Center Field

Deep in Enemy Territory

The Cubs easily took the first game of the series against the White Sox today, winning 5-1 behind a pair of solo home runs, some solid play in the 9th inning, and another great game from Zambrano. Maybe he was being serious about this whole being a new season thing.

Today also marked the triumphant return of Aramis Ramirez, who hit one of those solo shots to send a clear message to anyone who doubts the strength of his left knee. Never mind that almost no running or use of the knees is in any way involved in swinging a bat.

Sean Gallagher was sent back down to Iowa, and most Cubs fans probably won't notice a difference. Sean had a 9+ ERA in 5 and a 1/3 innings this season.

Rich Hill gets the call tomorrow against Javier Vasquez at noon. A month ago, I would have put the easy money on Hill, but nowadays I'm not so sure. Prove me wrong buddy.

Rich Hill: Fighting Political Incorrectness since 2006

Political correctness has invaded the world of sports in recent years. First, way way back in 1994, Marquette University changed its mascot from the Warriors to the much less offensive Golden Eagles. Subsequent polls showed that (surprise!) students and alumni preferred Warriors, but because the administration felt that the mascot and logos used along with the Warrior name was offensive, the name was instead changed to the Marquette Gold. This is the most retarded name in all of sports, so it went back to Golden Eagles where it currently sits today.

Then last year some shady deals were made to disband the Chief Illiniwek mascot at the University of Illinois. Many alumni pledged to withhold donations as a result of this decision. This hit close to home for me, not because I go to that school but because I live in the state. It's about three hours away from me, so literally it's fairly close. Not that I would give any money to my alma mater either way, I've already given them enough.

Personally, I think that removing a mascot because it offends an imaginary tribe is silly. And who said a warrior has to refer to an Indian warrior? If we're going to go this far, then I say everyone from Greece needs to protest the Michigan State Spartans, because they're no longer around to defend themselves (stupid Persians). And comic book fans from across the world should be knocking at Michigan's door to protest the Wolverines (I'm not a big fan of the state of Michigan, if you can't tell).

This political correctness has not made its way to the professional sports world yet, which is where Rich Hill comes in. Hill has obviously noticed how politically incorrect it is for the Atlanta Braves to exist, and for their fans to wave their tomahawks about. If no one else is going to do something about this, he will.

Over four starts against the Braves in 2006 and 2007, Hill has pitched 28 and 2/3's innings, giving up only 3 earned runs and compiling a 3-0 record. That's a 0.94 ERA over 4 starts. Now all the Cubs have to do is convince him that calling a team the Cardinals is an insult to the peacefulness of the state bird of Illinois and getting to the playoffs should be a breeze.

It Was a Long, Rainy Night

The Cubs withstood a 3 hour rain delay before their game against the Mets began. By the end, they wished that the Game had been postponed. A dismal showing from the offense and pitching made for a painful, long game.

Game Summary for May 16th, 2007

• Score: Cubs lost a rainy one to the Mets, 8-1.
  
• Player of the Game: Cliff Floyd. Had one of only two Cubs hits, and the only RBI.
• Subject of Lou's Wrath: Rich Hill. He's losing the spark he had before, and this game was pretty terrible. Gave up 4 runs in 6 innings. He needs to get back on track.
  
• Comments: Not much to talk about here. Jorge Sosa was very solid, and Rich Hill wasn't. Neither was our bullpen, but that's not a surprise. Neal Cotts had an especially bad night, giving up 3 runs in his one inning of pitching and skyrocketing his ERA to 3.31.
  
• Magic Number: 130. The Brewers are on a 4 game losing streak, and we can't capitalize on it.

Today, actually right now, Angel Guzman is making his third start against Julio Vargas, who is making his first start of the year. Let's win this one, split the series, and get some momentum going into the big crosstown classic.

Rich Hill Does Not Dig the Long Ball

The Cubs continue their recent stretch of failures with today's game against the Phillies. After a very uplifting stretch where the team 8-1, they've now lost three of their last four games and everything is changing. Jason Marquis becomes the ace of the staff, Alfonso Soriano actually hit for power, Felix Pie is sent down for someone whose name is a religious contradiction, and Rich Hill gives up too many home runs en route to a 7-2 loss. Captain Lou needs to right this ship quickly or we are going to have some serious issues.

Game Summary for May 11th, 2007

• Score: Cubs are crushed by the Phillies, 7-2.
  
• Player of the Game: Alfonso Soriano. Went 2-for-5 with a solo home run in the 3rd inning. Looks like he's finally starting to get back into his groove.
• Subject of Lou's Wrath: Rich Hill. The prodigy is not performing well as of late, and today was no different with 5 earned runs given up in 5 innings. Even with this latest setback, however, he's still sporting an impressive 2.51 ERA.
  
• Comments: Unlike Big Z, Hill actually started off very well in the first three innings. Even afterwards, all of this carnage was due to two bad pitches to Pat Burrell. The Phillies outfielder rocked Hill for two home runs, one with two men on in the 4th and one with 1 man on in the 6th. These two bad pitches accounted for all of the earned runs Hill gave up, so there is still hope. Not much, but just a glimmer.
  
• Magic Number: 136. Apparently all the Brewers needed was some stiff competition, and the Mets gladly obliged.

Tomorrow's game is on FOX at 2:45, so that's pretty exciting. The kid Angel Guzman tries to prove that his 1.80 ERA outing last game wasn't a fluke, and the Cubs prepare to take a bite out of former White Sox pitcher Freddy Garcia. Should be exciting.

You Can't Win 'Em All

But you should never lose when Rich Hill is pitching against the Pirates. Didn't really pay attention to the game, so this will be brief.

Game Summary for April 30th, 2007

• Score: Cubs fall to the Pirates, 3-2.
  
• Player of the Game: Gonna go with Rich Hill here. Gave up 2 runs in 7 innings, and if that's not enough to beat the Pirates then there is something seriously wrong with our defense.
• Subject of Lou's Wrath: Michael Wuertz. Uncharacteristically gave up the game winning home run, his ERA is now at 1.32. I guess you can't really get mad at him for that.
  
• Comments: Rich Hill pitched reasonably well, Cubs could only mount two runs of offense, though. Jason Bay hit a game winning home run in the bottom of the eighth against Wuertz. And thus ends the astounding 3 game winning streak.
  
• Magic Number: 144. That is what we like to call a gross.
  

Hopefully Ted Lilly will have better luck tomorrow. I'm going to bed.