Well That Explains.....Nothing

Today came the sad yet hilarious news that a former Cub has been busted for steroid use. As you read that sentence, I'm sure a number of different names started popping up in your head. You probably started off by thinking Sosa, Nomar, or Gary Matthews Jr. I can tell you now that you are thinking in completely the wrong direction. Think worse, much worse. Worse than Corey Patterson? Absolutely. Jose Macias? Fo-Sho. Even worse than Jacque Jones?? Sweet Jesus yes.

That's right, Dusty's Golden Boy was banned for 25 games for testing positive for a banned stimulant. I'm surprised they even bother to test people with a .172 batting average. That's like testing a Mormon for alcohol, or Mike Tyson for sanity. You just figure you're not gonna find any, so why bother?

Rich Hill: Fighting Political Incorrectness since 2006

Political correctness has invaded the world of sports in recent years. First, way way back in 1994, Marquette University changed its mascot from the Warriors to the much less offensive Golden Eagles. Subsequent polls showed that (surprise!) students and alumni preferred Warriors, but because the administration felt that the mascot and logos used along with the Warrior name was offensive, the name was instead changed to the Marquette Gold. This is the most retarded name in all of sports, so it went back to Golden Eagles where it currently sits today.

Then last year some shady deals were made to disband the Chief Illiniwek mascot at the University of Illinois. Many alumni pledged to withhold donations as a result of this decision. This hit close to home for me, not because I go to that school but because I live in the state. It's about three hours away from me, so literally it's fairly close. Not that I would give any money to my alma mater either way, I've already given them enough.

Personally, I think that removing a mascot because it offends an imaginary tribe is silly. And who said a warrior has to refer to an Indian warrior? If we're going to go this far, then I say everyone from Greece needs to protest the Michigan State Spartans, because they're no longer around to defend themselves (stupid Persians). And comic book fans from across the world should be knocking at Michigan's door to protest the Wolverines (I'm not a big fan of the state of Michigan, if you can't tell).

This political correctness has not made its way to the professional sports world yet, which is where Rich Hill comes in. Hill has obviously noticed how politically incorrect it is for the Atlanta Braves to exist, and for their fans to wave their tomahawks about. If no one else is going to do something about this, he will.

Over four starts against the Braves in 2006 and 2007, Hill has pitched 28 and 2/3's innings, giving up only 3 earned runs and compiling a 3-0 record. That's a 0.94 ERA over 4 starts. Now all the Cubs have to do is convince him that calling a team the Cardinals is an insult to the peacefulness of the state bird of Illinois and getting to the playoffs should be a breeze.