The man is back.

With a perfect suicide squeeze on a 3-1 count in the 10th inning, Mr. Blanco let Cubs Nation know that he is back and better than ever.

To quote the Giants color announcer, "He got the job done."

That's how Henry rolls, ladies and gentleman. That's how this team rolls.

CUBS WIN.

Where in the World is Henry Blanco?

Despite an injury to world-class backup catcher Henry B., the Cubs have somehow managed to get themselves into first place. It looks like Blanco is rehabbing in AAA and could be back very soon though, giving this team a much needed boost coming into the final months of the season. Koyie Hill, your days are numbered.

Go Cubs.

Oh My Blanco!

Look what happens when Henry leaves. After Lou announced that Blanco was to be Big Z's personal catcher, the stud catcher used incredible foresight and got himself onto the 15-day DL before the altercation today.

It is clear that for Carlos' own safety, Henry the Wise chose to avoid an imminent confrontation with Zambrano, knowing full well that he would have beat the snot out of the ace pitcher had he been behind the plate for todays game.

Obviously, Henry Blanco is the glue that holds this team together, the fabric that weaves Cubs Nation into its glorious being. Let us all hope for his speedy recovery.

It's All in the Timing

I've figured out why the Cubs are consistently losing. Their timing is way off. I'm not talking about the timing of their swing or anything like that, but the timing of when they score runs. When we win, we tend to score far more runs than we need. When we lose, however, we're usually just a run or two short. We have our big run scoring days when the other team scores hardly anything, and when we only score a few runs they always manage to score a couple more.

The Cubs have not won any 1 or 2 run games. We have lost 3-5, 2-4, 5-6, 0-1, 3-4, 6-8, and now 1-2. That's seven of our ten losses that have been within two runs! So we're close to being great, we're just off with the timing. on days like last Saturday when the Reds score nothing, we don't need to get seven runs. Or when San Diego scored four on Monday, I think us scoring 12 runs might have been a little excessive. Any chance we could have saved any of those for the 14 inning game the next day? Share the love people.

Game Summary for April 20th, 2007

• Score: Cubs lose to the Cards, 2-1.
  
• Player of the Game: Aramis Ramirez. Went 2-for-4 today with the lone RBI for the Cubs, and has a hit in all 12 games he has started.
• Subject of Lou's Wrath: Henry Blanco, as much as it pains me to say it. Popped up a sacrifice bunt attempt with runners on first and second and no outs, and the play would have been a triple play except Lou had to argue that Blanco should have been out on interference cause he ran into the catcher. The umpires succumbed to Lou's anger, and the next two batters proceeded to strike out.
  
• Comments: Ted Lilly continued the pattern of all of our starting pitchers being good except for Miller and Big Z. His only mistake was giving up a Preston Wilson home run in the seventh after walking Jim Edmonds. The Cubs just couldn't get any production today, probably because Felix Pie wasn't in the game. What are you doing Lou? You don't bench the prodigy, are you nuts? He better be back tomorrow.
  
• Magic Number: Still 151. Sitting at the bottom of the division, all alone. I would cry if I wasn't so used to this.

Jason Marquis pitches tomorrow and tries to show the Cardinals what they're missing. They sure didn't miss him last year in the World Series. We need Pie back, and if Derrek Lee could just get a home run for once we should be alright.

A True Team Player

While the casual fan might consider going 0 for 3 at the plate a bad day at the ballpark, any baseball analyst would agree with me when I say that Henry Blanco's offensive performance today was utterly spectacular.

But how can that be possible?

It's called a sacrifice fly, the key word being sacrifice. Lets take a deeper look at this often overlooked phenomenon in a game that glorifies the individual athlete.

Webster's dictionary defines sacrifice as:

the destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else.

In baseball terminology, this translates into surrendering personal statistics and destroying your batting average for the sake of the team. And that is exactly what Henry did today against the Brewers.

Blanco showed total selflessness and pushed obvious accolades aside while disregarding his own stats to help the Cubs bring home the W.

Can Americans ask for a better role model? I think not.

These guys seem to agree.

-rfs

BP (April 6th, 2007)

RFS here with some extra thoughts in a little post that will from now on be titled Batting Practice.

• Congrats to Marky Mark on being the first Cubs batter to knock one out this season. The DeRosa-Bonds Home Run Race has officially kicked off.
• The Cubs have announced that the team will no longer wear their blue alternate jerseys. Carlos Zambrano, who as the starting pitcher often chooses the blue over the traditional uniform, has stated that he will not sign a new contract until the decision is reversed.
• While other team members used Tuesday's day-off to shame the organization's name, Henry Blanco was in Key West after being subpoenaed in a court case involving one of his agents. We can now add "Fighting Injustice" to Henry's already impressive list of accomplishments (which include "Knocking Up Anna Nicole Smith" and "Sexiest Player on the Team").
• Speaking of Blanco, here's hoping that Lou comes to his senses and gives him a start or two this weekend. Seeing as Barrett is 0 for 11 to start the season (not to mention a passed ball or two), I think it's time to put Henry in the 2-spot and let his career .225 average do the talking.
• And finally, props to Jason Marquis for doing the number 21 proud in his first start. After hearing TigerLilly was shot down by management for asking to wear #31 (Greg Maddux and Fergie Jenkins), Jason decided #21 was a pretty safe choice, considering no Cub-great has ever worn it.

"Soy Dannielynn's Padre"

(Las Vegas)

That's right, late Saturday night (or early Sunday morning), Henry Blanco came clean as to his rumored involvement with the late Anna Nicole Smith.

Wobbling out of a Las Vegas strip club around 2am after paying for the lap dances of youngsters Rich Hill and Ronny Cedeneo, Blanco drunkenly proclaimed that he could no longer live a lie.

"Si, si. It is mi. Soy el padre!"

This news comes out of months of speculation after Henry and Anna were seen together leaving a Los Angeles Chili's in December of 2005, which up until now coincidently coincided with the September 7th birth of the child.

"Mi love their quesadilla's."

Blanco went on to say that after seeing a white woman with the "culo of Mother Mary herself" (Anna Nicole) walk into the same Chili's that day, he knew she would be his.

Why Anna was in LA at the time is still unknown, but it is believed that Henry was in town visiting Paris;

his girlfriend of 12 years.

"I hope mi mamasita no find out."

When told of Blanco's comments, Manager Lou Pinella -- who's Cubs were in town for their spring-training finale against the Mariners-- just shook his head, "Thank God we have a day off on Sunday."

A voicemail left with Anna Nicole's camp was not returned.

2007 Team Sexiness: A comparitive analysis

Winning aside, what is really important in the game of baseball?

Being sexy.

And historically, no matter whether we're winning or losing (or just flat out sucking), the Cubs have always led the league in looking great doing it.

Just look at what we've brought to the plate (...ahem) over the years:

Now that is a mustache. Great work Billy, way to represent.

However, after the transactions by the front office this last off-season, at least this Cubs fan is feeling like management has begun to lose touch with the foundations of sex appeal and overall manliness that this team has built its reputation on.

Let's recap some of the new faces that are breaking camp this weekend:







Jason Marquis. Ex-Cardinal. Figures.









Juan Mateo.









Ted Lilly. Honestly, does that look like a face worth $10 mil a year?









Ceasar Izturis.



Neal Cotts. Used to be on the White Sox. Really figures.


Alfonso Soriano.

I'll admit it, Fonzy is young and isn't bad looking. Out of all of the new guys, he by far has the most potential. I'm just saying, for all the money we're paying him to miff flies in center, he'd better live up to it.

There is one blatant conclusion that we can draw from all of this: Jim Hendry is not gay.

In fact, he might be quite the opposite, maybe to the extreme. How can anyone forget who he gave up last season.












Thats right. Todd Walker. Far and away the sexiest man in baseball.

And what did we get for him?

...

Jose Ceda. Now pitching in the farm system for us...in Idaho (we have a team in Idaho?)

Jose was too scared to even take a team photo, well aware that he can't live up to his side of the deal.

Shame on you, Jim.

But for all the poor decisions he made over the off season, Hendry made it all better by re-signing perhaps the best-looking of the players from last season's squad:











Thank God we have at least two more years of basking in the glorification of pure man that is Henry Blanco (with an option for 2009).


--rfs