Pitches to the Man...and BOOM goes the dynamite

From the Book of Cubinnisess, Chapter 12, Verse 3:

And on that day, the 8th of June in the year 610398 AC, in this the 59th game of the season, there shall arise one amongst you who shall do great things. Three times he shall step up to the plate, and three times he shall launch a ball over the wall. There will be much rejoicing amongst my chosen people, and much gnashing of teeth amongst the Atlantean hordes. This will be a sign to you. You shall find him in left field, wearing the number 12, and you shall call him Soriano.

Rich Hill: Fighting Political Incorrectness since 2006

Political correctness has invaded the world of sports in recent years. First, way way back in 1994, Marquette University changed its mascot from the Warriors to the much less offensive Golden Eagles. Subsequent polls showed that (surprise!) students and alumni preferred Warriors, but because the administration felt that the mascot and logos used along with the Warrior name was offensive, the name was instead changed to the Marquette Gold. This is the most retarded name in all of sports, so it went back to Golden Eagles where it currently sits today.

Then last year some shady deals were made to disband the Chief Illiniwek mascot at the University of Illinois. Many alumni pledged to withhold donations as a result of this decision. This hit close to home for me, not because I go to that school but because I live in the state. It's about three hours away from me, so literally it's fairly close. Not that I would give any money to my alma mater either way, I've already given them enough.

Personally, I think that removing a mascot because it offends an imaginary tribe is silly. And who said a warrior has to refer to an Indian warrior? If we're going to go this far, then I say everyone from Greece needs to protest the Michigan State Spartans, because they're no longer around to defend themselves (stupid Persians). And comic book fans from across the world should be knocking at Michigan's door to protest the Wolverines (I'm not a big fan of the state of Michigan, if you can't tell).

This political correctness has not made its way to the professional sports world yet, which is where Rich Hill comes in. Hill has obviously noticed how politically incorrect it is for the Atlanta Braves to exist, and for their fans to wave their tomahawks about. If no one else is going to do something about this, he will.

Over four starts against the Braves in 2006 and 2007, Hill has pitched 28 and 2/3's innings, giving up only 3 earned runs and compiling a 3-0 record. That's a 0.94 ERA over 4 starts. Now all the Cubs have to do is convince him that calling a team the Cardinals is an insult to the peacefulness of the state bird of Illinois and getting to the playoffs should be a breeze.

Watch Your Back Aramis

It was bad enough for Aramis Ramirez that he's out for at least a couple days with a strained knee, but now there's more bad news. The Cubs have taken a third baseman with the 3rd pick of the draft, a high school senior named Josh Vitters.

Vitters, who turns 18 on Aug. 27, is ranked as the top pure high school hitter by Baseball America. He batted .371 with eight homers and 25 RBIs for Cypress (Calif.) High School.

I know it's gonna be a while til this kid makes his way to the bigs, but I hope the Cubs move him along quickly. Competition is always a good thing, and we need all the help we can get. And I'm sure by the time he gets here Aramis will be burned out. If not, teach him to play shortstop. I'm getting tired of watching E5 play.

Everything is Going According to Plan

I said that the Cubs needed someone to show a little bit of emotion to get this team rolling. We were stuck in a rut and no one seemed to care enough to do anything about it. Having a team meeting shows that you're tired of losing, not that you want to win.

So when Lou got ejected, I was excited. While everyone else was calling his antics deplorable and going on and on about how the Cubs were losing control of their players, I knew exactly what Lou was doing. His ejection coupled with Zambrano attacking Barrett would light a fire under the team.

Since he was suspended, the Cubs went from a 6 game losing streak to winning 3 of their last 4 games. Felix Pie is doing very well, Soriano got five hits in one game against the Brewers, and Zambrano is pitching like, well, Zambrano. All is well with the world. I just hope the team can keep it up when Lou returns, otherwise the Cubs might need to send him on an extended vacation for the rest of the season. Somehow Lou seems to manage best when he's not in the clubhouse.

The Bench Players are Going Down Like Flies

Way back on Friday, Henry Blanco was placed on the DL with a herniated disc in his neck. This injury set off a series of events that either had a very catastrophic or enjoyable effect, depending on how you view the Cubs right now. I personally choose to laugh more than be angry, so this has been a fun weekend.

This series of events has resulted in Sweet Lou being suspended for an undetermined amount of time. Bench coach Alan Tremmel is piloting the ship today, maybe he can be the Barbosa to Lou's Captain Jack antics.

But here comes news that "where's my pinch runner?" Darryle Ward is out with a hip strain. Enter Felix Pie. I don't think my weekend could get any better. I guess maybe if the Cubs win today, but I quit paying attention to that a while ago.

Game starts in 10 minutes. Sean Marshall is pitching. Maybe he'll get some run support for once. I'm just hoping Tremmel gets ejected and Cliff Floyd has to coach the team.