We all remember Neifi Perez. Mediocre utility infielder, terrible batter, and not exactly handsome. So when he was busted a month ago for stimulant use I thought he must have just been hanging out with the wrong crowd and had slipped up once, because there's no way that anything he was taking was enhancing his performance in any way. If you need drugs to put together a .172 batting average, you've got some issues.
As it turns out, you can add ridiculously dumb to that list of adjectives describing Neifi. Today Neifi became only the second player to be suspended for the use of stimulants, himself also being the first player to receive such a ban. This one is for 80 games, and picks up right where the last ban left off on Saturday.
I find it hard to believe that even Neifi would be dumb enough to keep taking stimulants after getting caught, so I came to the only logical conclusion: He was framed.
In order to right this terrible wrong I did what any self-respecting not-very-well-known sports blogger would do. I made a t-shirt. This shirt shows support for Neifi and his fight against injustice. By being suspended for the rest of the season the Tigers are able to avoid paying the last half of his $2.5 million contract, an enticing proposition considering his dismal stats. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that just maybe the manager slipped him a stimulant-infused smoothie. Three times. Also, I have a tendency to dislike anything Detroit related, so I simply want what's worst for them. In this case that would be having to pay Neifi the rest of his contract. Join me in this noble cause to clear Neifi's name and bring down the Tigers.