Monday, April 21, 2008

Marty Brennaman is a Class A Douchebag

Because I was at the Cubs game last Wednesday and got home late, I missed much of the media attention surrounding the throwing of balls into right field. Recently though this video containing the comments made on the air by a Marty Brennaman has come to my attention.

Also, because I was bored and thought it would be interesting, I've transcribed the conversation between these two old fogeys for easy dissection.

Some Old Guy: What is going on in right field? There's like 7 or 8 balls coming in here. Well I take that back, there's about 40 balls coming in here.

Your mastery of numbers here is astounding, old guy whose name I do not know. I'm sure from the booth 15 balls looks a lot like 40.

Marty Brennaman: Look at this. There are balls coming from all over the place. Left field, center field, right field.

Some Old Guy: Upper deck.

Brennaman: See this, this is the kind of thing quite honestly right now, that makes you want to see the Chicago Cubs team lose. Among all baseball fans, and I can't atte-attest to the Yankees or the Red Sox because we don't see them with any degree of regularity unless it's interleague play, but far and away the most obnoxious fans in baseball in this league are those who follow this team right here. Throwing 15 or 18 balls onto the field there's absolutely no excuse for that and that is so typical of Chicago Cub fans. It's unbelievable.

Yes, I'm sure beating your team 12-3 must get really obnoxious after a while. And I'm curious as to how this is typical of Cubs fans, as it has never happened before. You can't compare this to throwing trash on the field, which is just gross and takes 15 minutes to clean up. This took about 1 minute and was funny. Get over it.

Some Old Guy: You know, I can understand throwing a ball back that's a home run ball. But you don't throw 18 balls out on the field that's stupid.

Brennaman: Oh no, You know, throwing the ball back that's great, and that's a Chicago Cub tradition that other people have copied around baseball and I think that's fine.

Thank you so very much sir for approving of one of our time honored traditions that have been created over the past 130 years this team has been in existence. I was worried that you might disapprove and we would have to stop.

Some Old Guy: But I mean there are people throwing balls on the field from left field, that ball went in the streets in right field.

Brennaman: Exactly. It's ridiculous, it really is. Here's Encarnacion and the first pitch is taken outside a ball. You simply root against them. You know I've said all winter they talk about this team winning the division and my comment is they won't win it because at the end of the day they still are the Chicago Cubs and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up. Here's a foul ball back and the count is 1-1.

So...last year we weren't the Cubs at the end of the day? Cause I'm pretty sure last year there was no foot shooting going on, and we won the division. How did your team do last year? Only 72 wins you say? Did you guys shoot yourself in the pitching arm?

Some Old Guy: And then they'll no one to boo but themselves.

Brennaman: No they never blame themselves.

Ummm what? Where have you been over the past five years? We've been booing our own players ever since 2003 came and went and we realized that our $40 bleacher seats deserve to see some good baseball.

Some Old Guy: They blame that goat.

Brennaman: Blame that old billy goat.

Some Old Guy: I tell you what anybody blame a goat for that long of losing, that's silly.

Brennaman: Huh, you think so?

Some Old Guy: I know so.

I'm sure you do old man. Of course, I'm also sure that all of the 3 million plus fans that came to Cubs games last year blame us not winning the World Series on a story about a goat that came to be long before many of them were born. And I'm sure all of your 2 million or so fans who live in that hellhole we call Cincinnati have more sense than that. Yeah I went there. Step off this.

1 comment:

Matt said...

As someone who lived in Chicago and met my wife there (also a Cubs fan), I have to agree with the announcers. I was a Cubs fan when I moved there since my whole life I watched them and my home town team thanks to WGN. I honestly love to watch baseball for the game and can nearly watch any game. That said, after living there a few months I realized that the TYPICAL Chicago fan doesn't know a thing about baseball and is just there to hang out and go to the bars before and after. I was disgusted and still am. A good friend of mine is a Sox fan and I quickly realized I would rather go to games there... fortunately they also won the World Series that year, that might have helped pull me to that side too.